Moving Forward...

is difficult. Especially when every few moments I catch my mind wandering, missing him. I can't concentrate worth crap. I have to watch myself around my co-workers. I know the sympathy can only stretch so far before everyone starts rolling their eyes and thinking "There she goes talking about that dog again."

But I know I will be ok - eventually. I no longer wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly, surprisingly remember he's gone. And I did make it through my evening walk without tears. I'm sure the Indian couple were relieved, after a week's worth of odd encounters, me crying, they staring as we pass each other walking the block.

And I'm prepping my application for adoption of a corgi rescue - part of me feeling guilty, too soon? But I know it may take a while to find that right match. I'll never find another "Mojo" and I'm not trying to replace him. I know I just need a dog in my life.

Damn it, he was such a great dog.

well dammit...

There are just no words... sad, devastated, heartbroken. I've lost my best friend. After an overnight illness, I had to let him go. Holding him in my arms, the Dr, the Stardude and I just sobbed as he quickly slipped away.

Now I'm at home alone for the first night without him, and I'm struggling. It's the little things that kick me in the gut... the jingle of his tags, a random unused poo-bag, the first walk around the block without him.

But what really knocked me to my knees was the grocery bag full of his hair from his last brushing. Normally a disgusting thing, this ball of black & grey fur... but I clutch it and sob. My last physical connection to this amazing, loving, comical animal who has been an important part of my life for the last 12 years. Who's let me lean on him in all my crises, my breakdowns and my triumphs.

Mojo-Pojo... I miss you. I still feel you here. Can't wait to take a walk with you through the meadow on the rim one last time.